Sometime in April–this was a while ago and I honestly forget exactly when–I got word of an alleycat in Hangzhou, the news about which was posted on a microblog somewhere that I didn’t have access to. Turns out is was organized by Jeaky of the local brand WHM bikes. I don’t know what WHM stands for, but I see We Behind on some of his stuff, which actually doesn’t make anything clearer at all. I’m not sure if it’s self-aware Chinglish, or like we behind the times instead of we’re behind the times, or if it’s we be hind, which is also confusing for its lack of conjugation and the fact that hind is, according to the dictionary on my computer:
hind 1 |hīnd|
adjective [ attrib. ]
(esp. of a bodily part) situated at the back; posterior : he snagged a calf by the hind leg.
1 a female deer, esp. a red deer or sika in and after its third year.
2 any of several large edible groupers with spotted markings.
noun archaic chiefly Scottish
a skilled farm worker.
• a peasant or rustic.
Perhaps the most sensible is the female deer definition, because deer are fast and stuff, like bikes. I don’t know. I do like the archaic Scottish though, just because it humors me that perhaps Jeaky is an authority on archaic Scottish even if we can hardly speak a lick of contemporary English. Just imagine him in a elbow-padded blazer, pipe in mouth, lecturing on haggis.
This review should really just end right there, but I’m going to forge ahead anyhow.
We met on a Sunday afternoon at Wulin Square, and by the time the race started there were between 15-20 riders, generously. I know, I should have counted, because how hard is it to count to under 20, but I didn’t. The point is that this was mostly Jeaky’s friends, all Chinese, except for me, which was a point of pride/awkwardness for me. Maybe there just aren’t any other foreigners riding fixed out here. I’ve only heard rumors and legends of them. Pre-race highlight: some kid’s mom dropped him off, and everyone was really cool about it. Also that same kid (high school) had the two English swear words he probably knew Sharpied on his rims:
Charming. Glad to see someone loves their bike.
The race itself was a nice ride around Hangzhou, although given the small organizing comittee, each checkpoint was not very well-marked or staffed, which although because I live here isn’t too big a deal, is still a little annoying. More annoying is Nanshan road around Leifeng tower on a beautiful Saturday afternoon; put simply, it is a true test of one’s ability to weave between smoke-belching buses and spitting tourists. I hadn’t been to Sunday! fixed gear shop in a while and it took a while to find it, as it’s about the size of a walk-in closet now and not easily visible from the street.
The race took me about 90 minutes, going what seemed to be the long way, because the winner, whose name I didn’t get, finished in under an hour. Post race, there were prizes for the first, second, and third place finishers, respectively a WHM frame, Nike Sneakers, and a hoodie. Post race, we had a small a buy-in sprint, in which I took a respectable third but still lost a big 10 RMB.
Mostly we just dicked around afterwards–did you really expect anything different?
Also there was a Segway rolling around Wulin. The End.